Whicker: Double-talk from Paul George, who wants to win but also wants to be a Laker

Fans of the old “Patty Duke Show,” in which look-alike teenagers caused all kinds of mistaken-identity mischief, will recognize what’s happening with Paul George and the Lakers.

Apparently there are two of him.

There is the Paul George who says he wants to win. And there is also the Paul George who wants to be a Laker.

One deals in hope, the other in fiction.

But since they both scored 23.7 points a game last season, can the Lakers assemble a 1-2 doppelganger punch, sort like the Klitschko brothers?

There is one way for the real Paul George, Palmdale native, to make sense of this. He can go somewhere to win the 2018 NBA championship, and then he can sign with the Lakers as a free agent.

Over the weekend his agent told the Pacers that George wouldn’t be returning after next season. That was interpreted as a betrayal in the Hoosier State, but George’s defenders say he was merely being out-front, preparing his one and only NBA team for the awful truth so they can take action.

Except now the Pacers have all the leverage of an ant picking up a sledgehammer.

They can hang onto George and listen to him get booed all year, and then get nothing for him next summer.

They can try to trade him to the Lakers, who of course might offer an old Smush Parker jersey and one of Norm Pattiz’s authentic rolled-up programs. Why should the Lakers pay extra today for a guaranteed cheeseburger tomorrow?

Or they can trade him to one of the two or three legitimate contenders, who would also be leasing George and would try to get away with offering zero-down. But Cleveland or Boston might spend the season buttering up George and convincing him he should play for titles half the year and spend the other half in L.A.

There are problems with that, too.

Boston has more first-round picks than Matt Barnes has tattoos. It also can customize a package to get Chicago’s Jimmy Butler, whose contract lasts one year longer than George’s and might fit better with the Celtics’ defense-first posture.

Cleveland would be nuts to trade Kyrie Irving or Kevin Love for one year of George. The Cavaliers have nothing else in the cupboard. LeBron James is 32½ and has played 1,277 games. Irving, Love, Tristan Thompson and J.R. Smith are in the fold through 2020. James’ deal comes up after the 2019 season. They aren’t going to mess with happiness.

Perhaps the Pacers will endure half a season with George’s foot out the door. Perhaps they’ll see what they can get at the trade deadline, in case a contender like San Antonio or Houston gets the itch.

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In any case the Lakers can feel blessed that someone still wants to wear the uniform, without getting one at the mall.

Thursday brings the NBA draft, as you might have heard. If the Lakers don’t take Lonzo Ball with Pick No. 2, better check your earthquake insurance.

The howls will be louder than in 1987, when the Pacers ignored the great unwashed and chose Reggie Miller over Steve Alford. Miller went to the Hall of Fame and Alford went into coaching, and Miller also spent his entire career in Indianapolis, without a championship, and seems to have survived.

If Ball proves himself a playoff-level point guard next season, he will enhance George’s homesickness. But what if the Lakers trade that No. 2 pick for Sacramento’s No. 5 and No. 10? According to one mock draft, those picks would turn into Duke’s 6-foot-8 Jayson Tatum, who was brilliant in February and March, and Gonzaga’s 7-foot Zach Collins.

Strength in numbers, you know. Plus, the Lakers still have the No. 28 pick. You don’t lose 237 games in the past four seasons because point guard is your only need.

It’s interesting that George specifically mentioned the Lakers, not the Clippers, who have brought in Jerry West to keep the roof intact. The Clippers have yearned for another perimeter scorer and defender, but they would need to pull off some sign-and-trade sorcery to get George and retain their State Farm and Kia Optima spokesmen.

Minds can change, too. George is close with Indiana GM Kevin Pritchard and recently said, “I love being part of what he wants to do from Day One.”

He also said, in April, “It’s all about bringing a championship to Indiana.”

We don’t exactly know which George said what. We do know the Lakers don’t have a Face Of The Franchise. You’re always better off with two.